Welcome to My 2 New Phases

There’s been another shift in the universe.

Two, actually.

And for me, they’re big.

Welcome to my two new phases of life:

1. I’m Willing to Pay

B. Get Off My Lawn

Allow me to explain.

1. I’m Willing to Pay

When I was growing up our daddy fixed everything. Built things. Did the yard work. You name it.

And I mean in a big way.

He repaired the cars and lawnmowers and bicycles – engines, filters, carburetors, oil, brakes – if it was torn up, he fixed it – and (usually) didn’t have any parts left over. He built things – giant garage shelving units, closet shelves, anything to make something else function better.  He also fixed the house – potties, paint jobs, caulk, windows, disposers, floors, roofs. Rarely do I remember a repairman coming to the house and my daddy stroking a check. Of course, in all that, somebody had to hold the flashlight and/or be the tool runner. That was always the job for my sister and/or me.

Yay us.

But, in retrospect, it was the most amazing school. Now, we probably could’ve done without the getting yelled at part, but Mama would sometimes come and rescue us and give us reprieve. As much as we didn’t want to admit it at the time, we learned such a vast wealth of information; more than we could have ever hoped for. You see, as adults my sister and I have had the occasion to implement the learned skills on more than one occasion. We’ve handled most everything life could throw at us and not panicked because of the skills our Daddy (and Mama) drove into us, I mean taught us.  So anyway, there’s a whole heck of a lot we’re capable of. My mantra for decades has been, “I’m not paying someone to do something I’m capable of doing myself.” And that has served me well.

But as of late, I’ve developed a new attitude. And I don’t mean a good one. Well, actually, maybe I do. Maybe it’s not all bad. I’m a girl – a very hardworking girl – who’s had a very physical job for 31 years – who’s now very much breaking down from head to toe.

Who’s now very happy to stroke a check.

The first few times I did it, it was painful; hurt my heart. But boy howdy have I gotten over that. I’m so happy to pay someone to do something I’m perfectly capable of, I can hardly stand it. This has been the most liberating thing ever. Welcome to my late 50s and menopause and whatever else you want to call it. I’m here for it and loving every minute. I’d much rather stay at work an extra hour or two to earn the money to pay another skilled worker to come fix whatever needs fixing than to get off work, go get whatever I need to do the task, then spend time doing it.

It’s a whole new era.

And guess who’s gleefully along for the ride? That’s right! The Lawyer. He’s reached that age, too. Ok, so maybe not the menopause part, but the “I’m perfectly capable but don’t want to anymore” stage of life. It’s nice to have a partner in crime.

So that’s that and I’m so stinking happy about it. So on to topic number

B. Get Off My Lawn

When I was younger, but definitely an adult, I always tended to look at cranky old people as just that – cranky old people. Because they are. Let’s just call a spade a spade. It seemed few and far between that one would run into a delightful old person who wasn’t cranky and/or cantankerous and/or scowling and such. But that shift in the universe I mentioned? Well….I get it now. I totally get it. Cranky, cantankerous, scowling – I feel your pain, Granny. A lack of patience. A lack of tolerance for stupid, lazy, and whatever else you want to call it. And the honkers to call it out. Yes, sometimes people and things are just stupid. (Myself included). I think by the time you get to this age you’ve just met your quota on it all and don’t have the capacity for more. And more importantly, your capacity on holding it in. Just let it fly, Sister.

And I mean that in the nicest way, I swear.

By this age you’ve worked hard for what you have and you don’t want anyone messing it up. Therefore, get off my lawn. Literally and figuratively. Just do it.

The understanding that has come in this era has been astounding. The self-awareness, astonishing. The freedom, like flying a kite on a perfect day.

Now, all that’s not to say that one shouldn’t still strive to be delightful, be careful of their delivery of firm words, and mind their manners and smile at everyone. But with a new enlightenment that you don’t have to let everyone on your lawn, it’s a whole new world.

It’s ok to say, “get off my lawn.”

Enjoy.

I know I will be.