Mr. & Mrs. Ross Hilaman

Meet Mr. and Mrs. Ross Hilaman.

Married Saturday, July 28, 2012.

Please allow me to give you my story about how I lived “wedding weekend.”

(It’s definitely my story, my perspective, I’m leaving out what would sound like snarky comments because I don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings or write sentences that would be mis-understood, so you’re going to hear all the wonderfulness and none of the very few difficult things.  But, hear my heart – it was ALL WONDERFUL and I loved every minute of it and wouldn’t change a thing.  the weekend was Perfect)

(Oh, and, it took me 7 sittings days to write this post.  It may take you 7 to read it! I am writing this for me; so I can remember it all in as much detail as possible.  It’s long.  It’s very long.)

Ross and Anna were engaged on New Year’s Eve, 2011. (see prior post about that fantastic story)

The planning began and the date was set for the “big day.”  Anna is a school teacher, so summer break or Christmas break were the best choices.  They chose summer break. Duh. Why wait? Right?

All of our focus was toward July 28th.  Since Anna is from the Orlando area, and Ross has lived there 3+years, Orlando was the only/obvious choice for the wedding.  “The Kids” (what I call Ross and Anna) soon chose a really cool venue called “The Abbey” and “The Mezz”.  The Abbey is where the ceremony was held and The Mezz is where the reception was held.  A really cool old downtown building that has been converted into venues and residences and who-knows-what-else.  I think it was an old theatre; there’s a really way-cool marquee out front that they put the bride and groom’s names on.

 But, I’m getting ahead of myself.

Anna had a few really nice bridal showers.  One was held at Ross’ Mom’s church.  It was a lovely morning and the church ladies offered a wonderful brunch for us all.   Anna and Ross received many very nice gifts.

Ross’ sister, Jesse, made the cake for the shower.  She is a talented cake decorator.

Anna also had another   shower in Orlando.  I was able to attend, and had a great time.  It was very cute; an icecream sundae bar and again, many nice gifts. I made a day-trip out of it.  Time alone in the car, windows down, sunroof open, music loud.  After the shower, Anna, her mom and I went to her Nana and Pop’s house for a visit.  We sat out on the dock and enjoyed the weather before I drove home.  It was a lovely day.  I enjoyed every minute of it.

Then my dress shopping began.  What color?  What style?  What shoes?  aaagghhhhh!!!!!  I’ve never shopped for a nice cocktail dress before.  I was at a total loss.  It was fun trying on fancy dresses, but a little un-nerving, too.  I bought every dress that fit, knowing I would return the ones that I wasn’t going to wear.  I ended up at a store in the mall and the fantastic sales lady, Patricia, set me up with the dresses and accessories I needed.  I found the two dresses that were my favorites and then set out to get shoes.  And, boy did I get shoes!  I haven’t worn heels that high in years!  But, they looked great, so I was willing to pay the price.  (literally and figuratively)

Wedding Weekend was fast approaching and I had more prep to do.  I had decided that as their wedding present from me, I needed to make them a quilt.  Have I mentioned that it’s only about 5 weeks before the wedding?  Have you ever made a quilt?  5 weeks is not enough.  I’ve lost my mind!  And, of course, it’s not just a quilt, it’s a family heirloom quilt and I needed to collect pieces of material from Ross and Anna’s moms.  I’ve really lost my mind.  I felt like I was living at Hobby Lobby there for a while.  But, I got the materials I wanted and began the sewing.  I machine stitch the squares together, then hand quilt it.  I finished it about 5 days before the wedding.  whew!

I worked at the salon like a crazy woman the few weeks before the wedding, and worked long days Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday of wedding week; getting as much done beforehand as possible.  We headed down to Orlando Thursday morning.  I am fairly certain I packed most everything I own into the bed of the truck.  Bobby was not amused.  We had reservations at the Embassy Suites Downtown where most of the family from Tallahassee were staying.  We got there mid-afternoon and had an easy check-in.  Our room was spacious and all the doors faced the atrium.  Marshall spent lots of time hanging over the banister looking at the people below, and we could see who was downstairs for breakfast each morning.

 It was fun having everyone in the same place.  We’d visit at breakfast and it was easy to stop by each other’s rooms.  We were just a few blocks from The Abbey.

After we got our things settled, I went with Ross’ mom and sister to the Women’s Club of Winter Park where the rehearsal dinner was going to be held.  Ross’ mom rented the venue and coordinated with 4 Rivers BBQ to cater the dinner, and had the flowers we needed delivered to her.  Our plan was to make all of the flower arrangements for the tables on Thursday, since we’d be very busy on Friday.  We assessed what we had and realized we needed more greenery, and that something natural would be lovely with the gerbera daisies his mom ordered.  So, off to the yard we went, scissors in hand.  We cut some of the shrubs and headed back in to assemble the arrangements.  We made ten, I think, and one large one for the food table.

They were beautiful, and colorful, and filled the space of the room quite well.

Getting that prep-work done was crucial.  Success.

And, have I mentioned, the tears have already started?

We had google-mapped the directions to and from the venue.  Somehow, most of the time, it didn’t help.  We were lost as many times as we were not over the weekend.  It was comical at times, frustrating at others.  I’ve seen more of downtown Orlando than I planned.

Ross and Anna wanted to have dinner with all of us Thursday night, so we met them at Bonefish.

It was a lovely dinner and the waiter gave them dessert to congratulate them on their wedding weekend.

It was all yummy and we were happy and full.  We all headed over to Ross and Anna’s new home.

 We wanted to see it and visit for a while and the boys needed haircuts.  Especially Ross.

So he got his pre-wedding-garage-haircut.  So did Jackson and Andy.  Gotta have all the men looking sharp on the big day! 😉

While we were at the house Jesse presented them with a wonderful gift she made.  She nailed flat-head nails in the shape of Florida with a heart in the middle where Orlando is.  She took a long twine and wrapped it from the edges of Florida to the heart.  It was so cool and really meaningful.  She put great effort into it and Ross and Anna loved it.  We all loved it. (did I mention it made me cry?)

We made our way back to the hotel and tried to get a good night’s rest.  We stayed up way to late, and I got up way too early the next morning!

Friday morning was the Bridesmaids luncheon.  It was at the Bistro on Park in Winter Park.  It was the coolest little restaurant, and we had the entire glassed-in porch to ourselves.  It was really special.

Anna’s Aunt Shelley had it decorated so beautifully and we had an oh-so-lovely time.

We had a wonderful menu to choose from…..

And she gave her bridesmaids beautiful gifts…..

And she gave the moms beautiful gifts as well…….

I was honored.

Did I mention I cried?

After the Bridesmaids luncheon, I went back to the Women’s Club with Ross’ mom and sister.  We finished decorating for the Rehearsal Dinner, got lost – again – on the way back to the hotel, but got there in time to get ready for the rehearsal.  Ross’ mom had arranged for someone to meet the caterer at the club, so we could go to the rehearsal.  We all got to the Abbey and got things underway.  The Pastor was wonderful and between him and Jenna, the wedding coordinator, everything was under control.

Before the practice started, the Pastor had everyone lay their hands on the couple and pray for them.  It was a sweet, sweet moment and a meaningful way to start the evening.

After the rehearsal, we had time to kill before the dinner, so everyone headed to our hotel to hang out for a while.  I think everyone had a fun time.  Shortly, though, we headed to the Women’s Club to get things started.  

4 Rivers BBQ set up a yummy spread and sent two of the sweetest kids to serve it.  They were all smiles and very gracious.  I greeted our guests at the door and Ross’ mom greeted them inside.  Everyone was in high spirits .

Everyone had plenty to eat.  We ended up taking several pans of food with us back to the hotel, and our valets took it to the homeless shelter down the road.

After we ate, Bobby started the toasts.  He spoke, then Roger spoke. And cried. And made all of us cry.  That was the beginning of the boo-hoo-fest.  Then Eddie and Reichert spoke.  Then Lindsey gave them cheesecake from Cheesecake Factory because that’s where they met.  And the bridesmaids gave them a gift. And did I mention I cried?  Then there was a slide show that Jesse put together.  It was pictures of the Kids from when they were little tots until now.  It was incredible to watch.  It brought back so many fond memories.  And I cried.  No, I sobbed.  Terrible, snotty, heaving sobs.  And when it was over, (and I was desperately looking for a non-bbq-stained napkin, or a table cloth corner, or dang-it why did I have a dress with no sleeves?!?!?!?), Ross’ mom looked at me and said “Go give them the quilt”  I said “no”, but she said yes.  so I did.  I literally had snot streaming down my face, not a napkin to use, and couldn’t quit crying.  I handed Ross and Anna the quilt, said something unintelligible about how important family is, told Ross he had to read the accompanying letter aloud, and had to walk away, snot still coming from my face.  I grabbed a couple of dessert napkins from the dessert table and headed back to my seat in the back of the room.  Ross began to read the letter and Wilson and Jesse held the quilt so he could see what he was reading about.  

 I was a crumpled mess in the back of the room.  Sobbing so hard I was shaking.  Trying not to make any loud heaving noises.  I think this is where my train-wrecked-ness began.     I was un-done.

Well, I guess I got it together to a certain degree.  Got the face cleaned up at least a little and we took some really great pictures before the night was through. 

I love this picture, but where’s Anna?!?!?

This is a great picture, too.  All smiles, all around.

And, I think this is one of my all-time favorites.

This is me and my sister, Laura.  I could not survive any of these events without her.

So, we eventually wound the evening down, got the club cleaned up, and headed for the hotel.  The Rehearsal Dinner was a great time and I think everyone was comfortable and enjoyed themselves.

It was late, but there was still work to do.  I started making the corsages Friday night.  And, it’s a good thing, or I never would have gotten it all done on Saturday!  I think we finally turned the lights out at 1:00 a.m.  In case you weren’t aware, that’s WAY past my bedtime!

I woke up about 5:30 Saturday morning.  Wow.  That’s early, ya’ll.  But I couldn’t go back to sleep.  I tried.  I really did.  But it was not going to happen.  I had too much to do and too much on my mind.  So about 6:00 or 6:30 I got up and started on corsages again.  When they were complete I went down for breakfast.  It was so much fun going downstairs and visiting with everyone each morning.  I honestly really enjoyed that part of the weekend.  But, I couldn’t stay long, there was much more work to do.

I made the boutonierres, then took a break and helped Jesse with her hair.  She’s such a pretty girl.  It was fun to stop with the flowers for a minute and do hair.  But, then it was back to flowers!  I corralled my mom and sister and we got busy on the bridesmaids bouquets.

 Laura stripped and prepped the roses for the table arrangements and mama and I wrapped bouquet stems.  My hotel room looked like a really bad floral bomb went off in it!  There was stuff everywhere!

But, we got it done!  Laura and I begged the valet boys to take us and buckets of flowers back and forth for two days.  I can’t even remember when we came and when we went and how many buckets we hauled, but the valets were always helpful and never told us no.  We went to the Mezz around 12:15 Saturday to set up for the reception.  There were tables that needed flowers and vases that needed water.  I know I’ve said it before, but I really could not have gotten it all done without my sister.She intuitively knows what to do, what I need, and never questions me.  She has great ideas, and works hard.  She keeps me straight, makes sure I have pills and food (ha ha!) and never gets uptight.  (when I start having a spaz attack, she just stands there and waits until I’m done, then calmly tells me what to do next)  She is a trooper.  And she takes pictures the entire time!  L-O-L!!!!! (the table cloths were not on the tables yet in the above picture, so don’t judge)

So, we got the reception room done and headed back to the hotel.  We were going to walk, flower buckets in hand, but Aunt Judy and crew were driving by and picked us up.  Good thing, because at this point I only had about an hour to get ready for the wedding.  AAAggghhhhh!!!!!  Ross had ordered us a sandwich, ’cause it was 2 o’clock and I had not eaten and was having mini-fits, ya’ll.  Laura and I inhaled them and then started the beauty transformation. Ha!

I got done in time, and Laura and I took the bouts to the men’s hotel room to pin them all on.  The guys were handsome and, well, silly.  The photographer was there and I brought Ross’ mom with me to pin his bout on him so they could get a picture.  Laura kept the bouts for the non-groomsmen-men and the corsages for the non-mom-ladies and made sure everyone was properly pinned.  Did I tell you I couldn’t have made it through the weekend without her?  A few of us ladies headed to the Grand Bohemian Hotel where all the girls were.  The other photographer was there taking pictures of Anna and the Bridesmaids getting ready, and of Anna and Jesse pinning corsages on their moms and Nana.  It was fun, and girly, and the room was a mess! But it was wonderful to see Anna and her best girlfriends enjoying their time together.  She looked beautiful.  Her mom and Nana helped her get into her gown as the photographer snapped away.

Then they did some posing.  I think this one is my favorite.

Then Anna sat and silently read a letter Ross had written her.  We all cried as she read.  She read aloud a funny line from Ross.  Everyone laughed because it was so “him”.   Ross’ mom gave Anna a family heirloom and the crying went from a few moist eyes to full-on cries.  At this point I’ve cried more in three days than I have in three years. But, we got ourselves together and went downstairs for pictures.  I can’t wait to see them.  The Party Bus came and picked us up and we went by our hotel and picked up anyone who wanted to hitch a ride, then headed to The Abbey.  It was almost Wedding Time.  Everyone was so excited and looked so beautiful.

We had three very handsome young men seat us at The Abbey; Marshall, Anna’s brother, Jon, and their cousin, Jordan. They look great, don’t they?

The men gathered in the back and made ready to begin.  The moms and grandmas lined up in the back.  We were ready.  The ladies were waiting in the party bus outside, so the men couldn’t see them.  One by one we were seated.  The grandmothers, Anna’s mom, me, Ross’ mom.  It was all I could do to control my crying.  I wanted to wail.  I tried to smile.  I think it just turned into one of those ugly faces you make when you want to bawl your eyes out, but you force a smile and it ends up looking all weird.  That was me.

Marshall escorted me to my seat.  I sat next to Ross’ Grandma, Mrs. Kay.  I sat on the aisle; a perfect view.  The Bridesmaids came in one-by-one looking radiant and met a groomsman at the base of the steps.  He escorted her up to the stage and they each took their places.  Once they were all there, the Pastor and Ross came in.  The Pastor had told Ross not to look for Anna until he told him to, so that she’d be where Ross could see her fully.  I looked to see Anna, then knowing what the Pastor told Ross, I turned from Anna to see the look on Ross’ face. It was priceless. I will never forget it.  I cannot describe it and won’t try, I’ll just keep it in my heart.

They met at the bottom of the steps, Anna’s Dad gave her away.  It was a sweet moment.  Ross escorted Anna up the steps and the service began.  It was beautiful and the Pastor gave a wonderful sermon.  It was obvious by the things he said that he had spent time with Anna and Ross and had really listened to what they had to say.  They took communion quietly, just the two of them at the back of the stage.  At this point I’ve cried non-stop since I was at the back door.  So many emotions all at once.

Although, the one time I did stop crying was during the ring ceremony.  Oh my, I am quite certain that Roger and Reichert were the ones behind this one!  When the Pastor asked Bobby for the ring for Ross to give Anna, Bobby reached into his pocket and acted like he couldn’t find it.  He checked all of his pockets in a “panicked” manner, then turned to Eddie and asked him if he had the ring.  Eddie checked his pockets, came up empty, and turned to the guy behind him, who turned to the guy behind him, and so on, and so on, all the way down the line.  By this time were were all laughing hysterically.  Those guys are such cut-ups!  Finally, the guy on the end pulled the tiny little diamond band out of his pocket!  They passed it up the line, one by one, all the way back to Bobby, who handed it to the Pastor.  Anna leaned over, looked around Ross and pointed to the guys at the end of the line and said something like, “I know it was you guys” and then leaned back in to Ross. It was funny and cute and a great moment.

But, back to seriousness.  Ross and Anna exchanged rings and said their “I do’s” and walked to the   front of the stage where the Pastor pronounced them married and told Ross he could kiss his bride!  

It was magical.  Everyone clapped and smiled and I smiled and cried.  My big boy just got married!

They left the room, bridesmaids and groomsmen in close follow.  The Pastor invited everyone to the reception and we were dismissed.  We stayed in The Abbey to take some pictures with the Bride and Groom.  I can’t wait to see them, they are going to be stunning.  Here’s a few from the sidelines.

As soon as these pictures were finished, the Bridal Party hopped on the party bus to go take some pictures around the block.  Everyone was enjoying themselves upstairs at The Mezz. In the lobby  downstairs at The Mezz, Anna and Ross left some things for their guests.  Wine bottles to sign, matchbooks to take.  It was fun and will be great memories for them in the years to come.

 The DJ was playing great music and the food was hot and ready.  The Bridal Party made their grand entrance and Ross and Anna came in and enjoyed their first dance.  The dancing began and everyone was having a fantastic time.  Anna danced with her dad, Ross danced with his mom.  Bobby and I even hit the dance floor a few times.  Memories I’ll cherish forever.

The food was really good.  There was a pasta station, carving station, h’ordeurves, later in the evening a crepe station, and of course, the Cake.   It was made by the executive pastry chef at Disney.  And it was divine.  Apricot. and delicious.  Ross and Anna cut it together and enjoyed the first piece.

Anna’s sorority sisters sang their sweetheart song to Ross and Anna.  It was cute to watch.  Such friendships are important and I’m glad Anna has them. 

So, we all danced for hours until the DJ said it was time to go. I got to hug them both and tell them I love them.  Everyone headed downstairs to see the happy couple off.  We showered them with rose petals and well wishes and they left, all smiles.  Their guests had had a lovely night, and were enjoying one another’s company on the sidewalks outside The Mezz for just a few more minutes.

I finally took my high heels off.  I can’t believe I wore those bad boys for eight hours!!!  I put on my comfy flip-flops and Bobby and I started our walk to the hotel. It was a beautiful night.  People were walking up and down the street.  Bobby and I walked hand in hand and talked about the night.  It was another moment I will never forget.

It took a while to unwind; it had been such a whirlwind of three days.  It was beautiful and meaningful and magical.  And, we were TIRED!  We finally crashed and I told Bobby I was going to get up the next morning whenever I decided to wake up.  No alarm clock.  Well, I think I was up by 8 o’clock, but that was far better than 5:30!

I vaguely remember getting dressed.  I am sure my clothes did not match, my shoes, either.  My hair was horribly piled up on my head and I could hardly open my eyes.  But, down to breakfast I went.  Somehow, everyone else was dressed, hair done, makeup on.  I’m not sure what I was doing wrong – but I was doing it in a BIG way.  I drug myself to the coffee pot and I think I ate.  I’m not sure.  I chatted with folks, made small-talk.  Was not in a good state.  Bobby’s brother told me something that wrecked me completely (which I will not share because it is something ugly someone said about my husband) and within minutes Anna’s mom sat beside me and said “are you ok?”  I came undone and started crying – AGAIN!  ugh.  this crying business is for sissies!!!  (just kidding, if you’re a “crier”)  I sat in that atrium, in a complete daze.  I know I eventually got up, went upstairs and packed.  But, really ya’ll, I’m not even sure I showered before we loaded the truck to come home.

I cried all the way home.  Cried when we got home.  Spent an hour and a half un-packing.  That’s a lot of stuff.  Yeah, my motto is “be prepared”.  I think I took most everything I own down there.  But, I got it all put away, a little laundry started, and called myself getting ready to go to work the next day.  I had to be there 8 a.m. Monday morning.  What was I thinking?!?!?  I did it.  I cried several times Monday.  Cried at work Tuesday.  Cried at work Wednesday.  Finally Wednesday night I sat Bobby down and told him that if I did not share everything on my heart I was not going to make it.  I was in a bad place for several days and needed to talk it out.  It’s hard to explain to someone (especially to a guy) that a woman can feel multiple emotions, that cover the entire spectrum, all at once.  Happy, sad, mad, frustrated, elated, proud, hurt, joyful, and many more, all at the same time.  No wonder I was such a train wreck.  But I talked and cried my way through it.  Slept hard that night, and woke up a new person.  I was back to myself and ready to take on the world.  Still a little tired, but mentally back to par.  whew.  I was really beginning to worry about myself.  Well, that’s enough about that. And, I’ve gotta add, Anna’s Nana and Pop said they’d take me home with them.  By the end of the weekend, I was ready to take them up on that offer!  They are fantastic people and I’m honored to know them and thankful to have them as family now.

So wedding week/weekend was one of the most divine seven days of my life.  I could not be more proud of, and for, my kids.  I wish I could recall every last little detail of the week, although you probably think I did if you made it through this blog post.  But it’s all in my heart and I will forever feel it, whether I can express it verbally or on paper, or not.  I love my kids, my family.  I cherish.