It Ain’t Over Till It’s Over

Y’all.

I got no words.

Except, of course, I do. I always do.

But this one’s hopefully the last one on this subject. Though at this point I am most definitely not holding my breath. Because, you see, twice before I thought I was done.

But I was, in fact, not done.

If you haven’t read my previous post, please take a few minutes and go do so, otherwise this post won’t make any sense. I mean, it’s probably not going to make any sense anyway, but perhaps you will at least see the lightbulb go off like I did. It was quite illuminating.

So in our last little bedtime story, you learned of my previous part-time job of salon plumber. And we ended that little story with an “all’s well with the world”, “my work here is done” vibe, and went on our merry way, because I was done.

Now, we all know where this is going.

For a couple of weeks after the last time I pulled my head out of that cabinet, the water in the shampoo bowl flowed smoothly, rapidly, down the drain with ease. But then there was a shift in the universe. COME ON. How many times can this sink slow it’s capacity and start collecting water in the bottom of the bowl?!?! And really, how many universe shifts can the universe take?!?!

Apparently one more.

The water just wasn’t draining well and it had been just last week. I chose denial at first, for quite a few days actually. But then I had to concede. Houston, we have a problem.

I knew I had to investigate once again, so I kept my eyes peeled for the perfect moment. It had been a good couple weeks of bad drainage after a good couple of weeks of good drainage. It could wait no longer. So Monday of this week I was home alone at the beauty parlor, had one client with color processing on her noggin, so I got busy. This time, though, I thought I’d outsmart it. Instead of getting chest deep in the tiny cabinet I decided to run the snake down the sink instead of up it. Maybe there’s just a wad of hair in there and the snake will pull it right out. Yeah, that.

Except no.

I shoved the snake down in there, fenagled it till I felt it get all the way to the p-trap, then pulled it back out, expecting a wad the size of a small rat to emerge with it. But did it? No. No it did not. Instead, what did I get? Nothing. Absolutely nothing. Snake was clean as a whistle.

Dang. It.

You know what this means. Back into the cabinet I go.

I pulled the shampoo bowl out, opened the cabinet, turned on the cell phone flashlight, pulled out the hose from the p-trap and BLESSED BEHOLD, AS REVA WOULD SAY,

you’re not going to believe this

there was a large wad of hair twisted up on a……    purple perm rod.

Can’t make this mess up.

I was stunned, perplexed, and a whole lot of “how can this be?!?!?!” I ran the snake up it 2 weeks ago and down it five minutes ago,  and would’ve put your paycheck on it that the tube was clear as a bell. Where in the heck did this perm rod come from?!?!?!

Then it came to me like heartburn after Taco Bell.

Two weeks ago when I shoved the snake up the tube and then it got stuck on the way out, it wasn’t stuck just on the juncture, it was stuck on the perm rod that was stuck on the juncture. All the shimmying I did just got the snake past this perm rod and didn’t get the perm rod past the juncture. Until later. Then it was stuck at the head of the p-trap and began collecting hair, and then eventually caused a backup, which eventually caused me to get back in the cabinet which led me to me telling you about it. Because you all need to share in my misery.

Of course, you know what I immediately did. I texted my Ron. I mean, come on, this is the kind of stuff you couldn’t make up if you tried, and he and I try, and we still can’t do it. So he had to know first.

Anyhoo, I grabbed all the contents and chunked it in the trash, put the tube back in the p-trap, closed the cabinet, pushed the shampoo bowl back to the wall, and walked away like a boss. Again. Because, and I say this with fingers crossed, standing on one foot, holding my tongue just right…..hopefully “third time’s the charm.”