Give and Take

You’ve heard the expression, “in this world there are two types of people….” and then the writer gives an example of two, usually polar opposite, types of folks. Like, those who sort laundry and those who throw everything in one load. Or, those who are organized and color code everything and those who throw everything in one pile and hope for the best. Or, those who take the buggy back to the store (that’s grocery cart for you northerners) or leave it in the parking lot. You get my drift. We could probably apply this basic principle to most anything. So today I’m going to apply it to a more fundamental, deep, personal level. And I’m probably going to step on some toes. And if you read this and think it’s not you, think again. And, just for clarification’s sake, I do the self-reflection dance often on this one. Put on your seatbelt, here we go.

In this life there are two types of people – givers and takers.

Have I hit a nerve yet?

As with all things, I conjecture, there are varying degrees to which this applies. But the principle stands; you’re either a giver or a taker. I also think, perhaps, that over a lifetime you can grow into being a giver even if you started your life on the taker end of the scale. (And, unfortunately, vice versa) But that takes self awareness, and lots of folks struggle there, too. I think that there are lots of traits like that that walk hand in hand. But I don’t feel like baking a layer cake today, so sheet cake it is.

I’m sure there’s plenty written on this subject by folks smarter than I, whose names start with “Doctor,” but I’m a pretty good armchair quarterback, if I do say so myself, so I’m gonna throw words at this subject.

I’m sure everyone feels like at some point in some circumstance, they’ve been taken advantage of. Even a taker knows a taker when they see one, even if they don’t see it in themselves. Someone took something of value from them and left them hanging. We’ve all most definitely been that offender at some point in our life, too. But, do you live there? Would you even notice? Do you expect people to give you everything you think you deserve? Exactly what do you think you deserve? And what will you do to get it? Does someone owe you? Are you sure?

Are you sure you’re not the one who owes someone? Think long and hard on this one. Get out that rhinestone encrusted mirror and take a good look. Are you a giver or taker?

Look back over your entire life. Have you given until it hurts, or have you asked everyone and their brother for favors? Have you always tried to get the upper hand by using other people, or have you shown others favor by stepping aside? Do you cry “woe is me,” or do you get to the business of building up? Takers are exhausting. And often don’t have lasting friendships.

I’ve been on both sides of this equation. It’s hard recognizing where you are when you’re surrounded by takers. And even more difficult to un-do things that have been done. But not impossible. Watch the people around you. Pay attention to yourself. Then surround yourself with those who are givers and not takers.

And, no, this isn’t about money. At all. It’s about you, yourself, and your personal gifts. Give it all away.