Bobble Head

Ever noticed how on tv people don’t move their head when they talk? Ever tried that?!?! It’s not natural. Kind of like most news anchors’ hair color. There’s nothing normal about not moving your head when you speak. Trust me, I’m an expert in this.

At the beauty parlor My Ron and I have a little game we play. If we have a client who won’t hold their head still while we’re cutting their hair, we start a conversation about bobblehead dolls. Now look, I know I just said in the previous paragraph that it isn’t normal to hold your head still, but there are a few exceptions. The most important is when you’re getting a haircut. Unless you want what looks like a lawnmower cut, you need to hold your noggin at attention, whether you’re running your mouth, or not. But outside of that, it just doesn’t feel right to not move your head if your mouth is moving.

Wait. Is it just me? Because right about now you’re either full-on with me, or full-on calling my therapist on my behalf. So now I’m curious. Is it just me?

Y’all know The Lawyer has a YouTube channel (and if you didn’t know, go to Lawyer In The Kitchen on the YouTube, and for the love of all things food, please subscribe) and occasionally he has me make a cameo appearance. (I’m applying for my screen actors guild card as we speak) The most difficult thing about it is holding my head still while I talk, because lord knows I don’t want to make anybody seasick while they’re watching. But it’s dang hard. Or, maybe it’s just because I have a touch of attitude and it all comes out above my collar bones. I don’t know, but I know it exists. So it made me pay attention to people on the television and how they present themselves. And blessed behold (as Reva would say) they don’t move their heads! What in the ever loving tv antenna is this voodoo?!?! And how have they mastered it?!?!? Were they professionally coached? Did they wear a neck brace until they broke their movement habit? Did they go to remedial class? Or is it natural for everybody but me and the fifteen percent of our clients that can’t hold their head still?

I need answers.

So, ya’ll get your phone, prop it up on the kitchen counter, think of something you can recite from memory, and hit record. See if you can “perform” without moving your head, and let me know.

I’m serious.