What Would You Be?

I have a friend who often posts on the facepage photos of red birds, and she waxes poetic about them being a sign of one of her recently deceased parents coming for a visit.  Perhaps you, too, have heard of this belief, that redbirds are a sign.  I don’t necessarily believe that those beautiful little birds are our loved ones in alternate form, but maybe they do sense we need them and they come to comfort us in our sorrow.  Either way, as I was sitting on the back porch this morning enjoying my gingerbread coffee (not as gross as it sounds) and listening to the fountain The Lawyer got me, the red birds were in rare form.  Probably five or six of them, flittering about, picking on each other, darting here and there, and enjoying the tasty snack in the feeder.  It made me think about my friend’s red bird posts and ponder losing someone close to me and in what form I’d want them to come visit me, if that were really a thing.  Or, if I could visit someone, what would I want to be?  Would I want to be a living thing, or non-living? Big, little, loud, quiet, bright, subtle? I suppose the possibilities would be endless, so let’s pick just a few and explore, shall we?

Let’s just go ahead and start with the birds.  They’re small so they can show up anywhere.  Birds also have a propensity to hang out, sit in window sills, eat what you leave for them, and stare at you.  So there’s that.  Kinda freaks me out when birds stare.  Anyhoo.  It would be super cool to be a bird and do that. Also super cool when a bird returns often.

I guess, though, that if you were doing this animal thing and looked at the traits birds have in this trainwreck of a post, racoons would qualify.  Which means so would possums.  Yeah, we’ll back up one step on that one and just stick with the trash pandas.  But you do see what I’m saying, right?  Small, show up anywhere, hang out, eat what you leave, stare.  All the correct qualities.

Then there’s the more elusive furry friends, like fox.  That would be cool, right?  Having a fox lurk around in the shadows as though they were watching out for you, guarding you, thwarting the things you could not see, making the occasional eye contact just to make you know they’re still there, but on their terms.  The mystery in that scenario is so intriguing.

Of course, there’s the non-negotiables, too.  Like snake, roach, spider; basically anything a human would want to kill.  That would kind of defeat the purpose, don’t you think?

Moving right along…

So what about a non-animal show-up?  I threw the idea out there at the beginning of this nut-job post and now can’t think of anything.  I mean, sunrise, sunset, certain kinds of clouds, certain sounds, the kitchen light coming on by itself.  Yeah, again, let’s take one step back on that one.  No paranormal, please.  Oooooo maybe a certain smell.  That’s it.  That’s what I’d want to be.  But which smell?  Roses, lavender, mint, the paper mill, coffee, smoke from the grill?  Again with the endless possibilities.  When I was a kid, my boy cousins always had these tiny bottles of “smells” they’d get from either the outdoors shop or the novelty shop.  Yep, I’m talking about “buck lure” and “fart spray.”  I have a grown-man cousin who may or may not still do the same.  He’s my practical joke hero.  Anywayyyyy, I think visiting your left-behind friends and family as a scent has the potential to bring the utmost joy and laughter to their grieving heart.  Assuming they’re grieving over you.  But, that’s a whole different story, too.

What if you visited as a sound?  I love the sound of my water fountain in the backyard.  It’s subtle, relaxing, gentle.  Or what about the crash of the waves at the beach?  Powerful.  Though, for this mental derailment post, a qualifying sound would have to be something within physical possibilities.  If you live land-locked, don’t let your loved one tell you to listen out for the sound of the waves to know they’re there.  That’d be pretty rude.  I guess a sound could be a song, too.  That’s more attainable.  A favorite song, a silly song, “your song.”  But, I think a song is a more random occurrence and not a sign that someone is visiting.  I’m gonna go back to the animal or smell theory and stick to it.

The seventh-grade boy in me is going with fox and fart spray.  Ya’ll, please don’t judge.  Remember when I started writing this one, I prefaced.  I had no idea where this post was going to go.  But I have a feeling I know where I’m about to go.

Therapy.